Hazelnut Coffee Creamer and Size 0 DKNY Jeans go hand in hand - By Chi-Chi

Isn't it amazing and yet wonderful and so human how even as coaches we find it difficult to throw away something that we know is just not going to serve us to our best life and weight? Oh maybe it the very things that we don’t throw away as Maxine has shown us that will actually take us to our best life through 'balance'. Maxine has said that her cupboards are full of beautiful, glowing foods but for the hazelnut coffee creamer, which incidentally tastes nothing like real hazelnuts. Had Maxine the angel had the real hazelnut or “noisette” as the French refer to them, she would realise the benefits of them in her healthy daily regime as they are known as the best known source of vitamin E, and essential for healthy heart muscles and most muscles of the body. But somehow the powdery version has taken its place and become a little secret. 3 things come to mind for me as a coach, and which the wonderful Maxine - coach, angel and mother has alluded to:

We are human!

And as human beings we don't get things right all the time, but when we do go astray, we should be tender with ourselves and counter balance it with doing something wonderful and great that we know shall take us back to our right weight and life. Balance is so important in life. As coaches we show you how to bring balance in all areas of your life to achieve your best weight and your best life.

1. Hanging On To Things.

Even though we KNOW that the hazelnut coffee creamer may bring more distress than good, we hang on to it and put it in a corner somewhere where we inevitably know we shall retrieve it as some stage. I must admit that I also have something that I hide and bring out on occasion to look at and to admire. It's my pair of black DKNY jeans that I fit into once in a past life time it seems. Even though I de-clutter my wardrobe on a regular basis, that pair of slinky black jeans that once fit me and no longer does remains a glittering trophy of what once was. I don't take into consideration though that, 12 years later and three natural births later my body has changed. I also don't want to remember that those jeans only fit me after I had been on a very aggressive diet plan and body sculpting plan so that I could get extra thin to go on a holiday in Mexico where I would then stuff myself with nachos, tacos, burritos and the whole enchilada! But I still do take out my jeans and admire them. I think of a time that I shall fit into them - ( never - the hips are for a size 0 model) and then I look at my other clothes and wonder why they're not the same size! What happened to my body? - But then as I really look at them I see that my clothes are the right fit for me NOW. I remember that i do beautiful daily walks in nature, admiring jacaranda trees and hibiscus and the ever changing leaves from season to season. I remember that I prepare fresh, crisp, foods lovingly and that I lead an active, healthy life. Maybe the black pair of jeans does represent a time gone by when i was younger and more care free. Certainly a nice holiday in Mexico now would be great. Maybe the hazelnut coffee creamer represents a time when Maxine was searching for a new way of living life? Even though years have gone by since we both had weight and weighty issue, I now realise that I am more youthful, energetic and more alive than I ever was, as is the case for Maxine as well.

As coaches Maxine and I are continuously searching for the best way of living, being healthy and maintaining our ideal weight, forever, not only for ourselves but for our clients.

2. A new way of looking at things:

We know that that the hazelnut coffee creamer is not the real deal, just as the DKNY jeans are meant only for Victoria Beckham. So what should we do Maxine? If Maxine were my client I would suggest that she looks for things that represent the silky, edgy, luxurious feel of the hazelnut creamer. What comes to mind is a pair of gorgeous pair of silk pyjamas, if that is your thing. I know what you're thinking. What about the nutty taste of hazelnut? I say take a nice stroll to the organic section of Waitrose and get a packet of luxurious hazelnuts or get hazelnut oil and drizzle it on a delicious salad. As for my jeans, I am going to give them to my 11 year old daughter who has been eyeing them and says they look vintage. Then I'll go in search of a black pair of jeans that make me feel beautiful and carefree now; that are right fit for me right now, and that represents me now. As life coaches Maxine and I show our clients how to feel right now, how to get into the right fit now, and how to get their wings back and fly high. For anything to fly it has to be balanced, and our weight loss coaching is about showing you how to bring balance to your life and how to soar high like an angel.

Hazelnut Coffee, Pleasure & Placation - by Maxine

Hidden in the recesses of my cupboard, lies a shady secret. The rest of my kitchen contains a wealth of sparkly, glowy food that makes me feel great, but somehow this remnant of my overweight past still lurks around. It’s been a long time since I was fat. It’s been at least 6 years a man someone shouted out of his car window, “with an a*se like that, you need to run faster!”. It’s been ages since I’ve obsessed about the calorie count of what I eat. I don’t know why, but I just can’t seem to throw away that jar of hazelnut coffee creamer.

Hazelnut coffee creamer is my vice. It makes me feel tired, and grumpy but I still drink it. Why? Because it taste so damn delicious. It is everything I love in a flavour: silky, nutty, edgy, luxurious. Every sip is perfection. Like fake strawberry, it tastes nothing like the thing it’s supposed to resemble. I’m still in love with it though, I just don’t want to let it go. It has sat in my cupboard for over a year but it doesn’t expire due to the fact that it is so processed it is no longer actually a food.

I got home yesterday feeling really miffed. Work was feeling like a slog; it had been particularly hard to get the kids to school; I’d had the best intentions to go for a walk only to have to turn back because of the black ice. It was a no brainer to come home and make myself a cup of “the special” coffee.

As life coaches, Chi-Chi and I have antennae for words like “no-brainer”. I have to admit that was the effect the hazelnutty-stuff-that-has-never-seen-a-hazelnut had on me. The deliciousness overwhelmed my senses so much that I no longer had to think; afterwards I was left so lacklustre that any restlessness dissipated. All of the feelings I didn’t want to be feeling were that much harder to feel. They’d been drowned out by a worse feeling.

It’s taken me a long time to understand this process. Before, I would have thought I’d been rewarding myself for a difficult morning. I don’t think so any more. I think I was placating myself rather than treating myself to real pleasure. There was a bit of pleasure to start with for sure. So much so that I still haven’t binned the coffee creamer. The overall effect was about 80% dullness and 20% pleasure, which is just not up to my usual standards of greed.

Maybe I’m wrong but I think living in balance means including some things that unsettle me. My late grandfather used to say, “Everything in moderation - including moderation.” I like to think that being aware of the overall picture of how this food makes me feel, will keep these “moderation” episodes to a minimum. Later that day I took the time to make myself a delicious lunch – turkey meatballs, salad and rye bread so fresh it was chewy.

That’s when I realised that the difference between pleasure and placating is that pleasure is all about the process – the slower the better in many cases. True pleasure is an eyes-wide-open experience, when every moment becomes a symphony. Placating, on the other hand is a dampening down-switching off process. There’s something I don’t want to see and I shut it out for as long as I can.

My answer – for now- is to search for the holy grail of hazelnut creamers - one that is delicious and healthy. (If you find one please let me know!) In the meantime, I’m going to keep loving myself not only despite but because of my vices. Giving myself permission to experience real pleasure on a regular basis, despite slipping up sometimes. Accepting that I’m human. That, after all, is the main reason I don’t struggle with my weight anymore.